This is a story about self-imposed constraints…
I was hoping my depression would go away if I gave my brain a chance to achieve homeostasis, but there’s always something that’s pulling your mood this way or that. Whether it’s a new friend, girlfriend, going shopping (even just for food), exercise or being a slave to the highs and lows of social media. Work is also obviously something that affects my mood in a huge way.
Apologies for this stupid Advent Calendar thing I wanted to do. It’s just because I had an idea for a blog post on December 26th. I’ve padded things out, laboured points, repeated myself.
I’m looking forward to letting things flow naturally again.
Merry Christmas, by the way. I’m sorry my stuff has been so self-pitying and not at all festive. In fact, I’ve been quite the boring misery-guts. I appreciate that over 100,000 words on oneself is either conceited as hell or it’s just me trying to brain dump and order my jumbled up thoughts.
Nearly 6,000 words on subjects as diverse as climate change and subatomic physics was really not written with the idea that anybody might read it. I’m embarrassed if you did, but maybe you got a little glimpse into the world I’m trying to navigate.
I don’t know where I stand on social media. In some ways it’s addictive and anti-social. In other ways it’s a lifeline and a means of maintaining some social contact, when you haven’t figured out how to get a social life back again, yet.
Anyway, I appreciate all the lovely messages of support, and people looking out for me.
Tags: #friends #socialmedia #computing
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8 responses to “Advent Calendar (Day Twenty-Five)”
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You don’t need to apologise, this is your space to write what you want to. Those of us who read it do so because we care how you are.
A few years back I tried to avoid everything that made me anxious. It didn’t work because the anxiety was still there, it just attached itself to smaller and smaller things, which made it worse. It would be nice if the world could stop for a while so you can get off and concentrate on getting better, but it’s not really an option. Winter Solstice has passed and the days are getting longer again. There are still dark days ahead but gradually there will be more light.
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Sorry I’ve not been catching up on your posts for a few days. It’s enlightening and worrying. I hope 2016 lasts 366 days for you mate.
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